The following is a response to a question from my close friend, Scott Luddy, about my unorthodox lifestyle:
What was the moment you realized you had made the right decision?
But before I reply to Scott, for anyone who’s not Scott and doesn’t know the decision he’s referring to, please allow me to briefly catch you up on my life to date.
The Backstory
In 2008, I moved to San Francisco, living and working through the tech boom of the 2010s. Big data and ad tech were all the rage with venture capital firms investing billions into any company using the right buzzwords.
I played the game, climbed the corporate ladder, eventually got married, and checked those boxes like any efficient junior executive in the tech industry.
Then I realized I’d built a completely unsustainable life and collapsed under the weight of all of my people-pleasing and avoidant tendencies.
Bummer.
Eventually, I got out, changed my life, and now travel full-time as a Speaker and Emotions Centered Coach.
Ok, back to Scott…
Dear Scott,
Ok—this is an interesting question.
What was the moment I realized I’d made the right decision?
Hmm…
Man, I had to take this one into meditation, and the first thing that occurred to me is that it didn’t actually happen in a moment. Which is probably why I haven’t really thought about it.
I’m realizing that it was a series of things, and below is what came to mind.
Going Into The Arctic Circle
Realizing that I’m probably the first person in my entire lineage to go to that part of the earth was startling to me. Plus, you know I’ve been trying to see the midnight sun forever now, so finally getting to experience that was another reminder that this was the right choice.
Going on my first full-spanish date
I’ve been trying to learn Spanish since 2018, so this was a significant milestone in my language-learning journey. All the lessons, all the podcasts, all the embarrassing moments were paying off.
It also helps when you have a verrrry patient date who actually wants communication to happen. It made me think about how often, in English, we just say whatever and expect it to be understood.
I haven’t felt a sense of achievement like that in a long time.
Going to the Taj Mahal
I’ve dreamed of visiting the Taj Mahal ever since I was 11. And it is by far the most beautiful structure I have ever seen. Scott, you must know that I’m perfectly comfortable saying this out loud.
It’s like that parable—would you want to know if you’ve already seen the most beautiful thing you’d ever see in your life?
As far as architectural beauty is concerned, I know that I’ve seen the most beautiful building I will ever lay my eyes upon. You can tell me no different, and I will not debate this. But the Taj Mahal did something else. It definitively reinforced for me that beauty is largely comprised of symmetry. And not just visual symmetry.
It made me think of human symmetry. The people who are fair, the people who are balanced, the people who are reasonable, understanding, and compassionate. Like the Taj Mahal, these people have an innate symmetry. A different kind of beauty, but beauty just the same.
Becoming a Speaker
Another moment was landing the speaker showcase with Brand Builders Group. It boosted my confidence at just the right time and reminded me that now that the number one person who needs to believe in me, is me.
The distinction, though, is that it’s not a “believe in yourself”.
It’s simply a “Believe Yourself.”
So that happening along the way has been really reaffirming.
Getting to be Uncle B
One of the biggest rewards is getting to spend time with your kids and watch them grow. One of my favorite memories is still playing outside with your girls, chalking up the driveway, fighting over soccer games, and then lying on the ground and staring at the clouds. It feels like cheating getting to enjoy that much kid-time upside, while still being able to walk away from the parenting downsides (😂🫣), but I’m grateful that you allow me to truly share in your family. That is invaluable.
When I put it all together
Scott, I can’t thank you enough for this question because when I add it all up, I can finally see that:
I’m becoming who I said I was going to become.
That’s probably what feels best.
When I began this journey, it was with the intention of restarting—and finally letting rip to do all the things I wanted to do with my life. But now I realize it was so that I could grow, even if that growth requires purging all of my earthly possessions and living out of a suitcase and a backpack.
I know you worry about me sometimes, but I couldn’t be happier.
There’s no such thing as a clean exit. And you know I’ve got the scars to prove it. But I am changed, and I’m living proof that I’m better today than I was yesterday. So that’s how I know I made the right decision.
And now that I’ve realized that, I’m wondering what took me so long.